Stories of Lost Children
Billy
by Chris Russo, Louisville, KY, U.S.A.
Three years and 4 months later. Has it gotten easier,,?? No. But I have learned to cover my pain. I am not sure if you start to heal once you have accepted. I still have not accepted that Billy is no longer with us. How do you ever accept that fact that your child has died? I just can't. I find that Billy's name does not come up as often as it did when he first died. Family members and friends go back to their day to day routines, their lives go back to normal. But for me, normal was the way it was before Billy died, normal is not how things are for me today. I could be sitting on the couch with my husband and all of a sudden Billy just comes to mind. Greg can see in a instant that I am reliving my memories of Billy, he knows the look that comes over me and he askes if I am OK. I say yes,, but I know nothing will ever be OK again. The tears still come daily. I still have not been able to open an old album and look at pictures. I can just barely handle the ones that are around the house. His smile was so big, he was so handsome. It still hurts so bad. I love you Billy. Mom
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