Stories of Lost Children
My Jordan Angel Baby in Heaven
by Germaine Boudreaux, Port Neches, TX, U.S.A.
My grief is unbearable! I lost my youngest son Jordan Dixon age 15 on May 15, 2006, the day after Mother's Day. He normally wouldn't have been with me that morning. He stayed with his dad mostly and it was a school morning, but Sunday he asked if he could stay an extra nigh. "Of course my love," I said. It happened at 7:20am on the way to school. A young girl talking on a cell phone hit us and Jordan died instantly. I feel I died with him! I feel like I have not done my job yet. He should still be in school and I should be checking on his grades and harping about his homework, so he could bring his grades up. I should be helping him grow into a good young man and see him graduate, etc. There are many days I don't know what to do with myself. I eventually quit my job. I went, but I wasn't there; if you know what I mean? I know that the best thing to do is get back into the workforce and keep myself busy, but I am scared and anxious about it. I also get very anxious driving, especially when I have a passenger. You truly do have another person's life in your hands when you get on the road with these crazy drivers that don't pay attention; cell phones, distractions. I guess you can tell I have anger still about that. My angel would have been 16 on August 23rd last year. The sweet 16 birthday party they all deserve, and he didnt get it. To my angel: I love and miss you everyday. I cry for you everyday. I look at your baby pictures and all of your pictures everyday; some days I have to put them away for a little while and then I bring them back out. I can't wait to see you in heaven one day. I dream of your big arms giving me a big hug! I love you my angel.
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