Stories of Lost Children
Jonathan
by Diane Landis, Cortland, OH, U.S.A.
I lost my son, Jonathan, on July 29, 2005 from a sudden brain hemmorage. It's been 15 months and I still do not want to go on. I feel it's getting worse, or just no better. For some reason I feel fear in getting better. I don't understand why when I hear that I will get better that it scares me. Jonathan was 25 years old and he and my son, Brian, were and are my whole life. Jonathan was an organ donor - he has saved four lives. When I was approached by LifeBanc for Jonathan to be a donor, I refused. It was then my son, Brian, said that there are other people praying to God for a miracle and said that if God did not give us our miracle, then lets give them theirs. He also said that is what Jonathan wanted. (he did indicate that on his driver's license).It was then that I said okay. I met and had dinner with his heart recipient. There are no early words to describe the feeling of meeting him. He has three small children. I received a phone call from the woman who fot Jonathan's right kidney. She has two children. I do thank God for the blessing of hearing from these recipients but I want him back. I can barely function. I am getting help from Compassionate Friends and grief counseling. However, I'm surprised that I'm no better. I just want to be with him.
|
