Stories of Lost Children
Alia
by Sonya, Ypsilanti, MI, U.S.A.
I am a lost mother. The day was to supposed to be simple, work midnights, take a nap, go to my parents, get the car ready for our family vacation, and get my family back on track. Well as you may have guessed, it didn't work out that way. Worked midnights, taking a nap, was woke up with a frantic husband's voice, saying "OH SHIT!" Jumped out of bed and came out of the bedroom to round the corner to find my husband holding my limp daughter(who was 4 days shy of being a year old) in his arms, outside of the bathroom. I grabbed her and ran into their bedroom on the floor, where I stripped her wet outfit off and attempted CPR, there she lay blue and lifeless. I screamed to call 911 and the nanny/babysitter proceeded to call, while my husband just stood there silent. I held her in my arms and felt cold and still. I think the tears just streamed in my face because I knew. My husband took her and was saying something to her. I became frantic at that point and took her to the floor once more, I knew that I had to try again. the second time: I heard my baby take her final breath. I had heard it many times before working with the elderly after they died. The paramedics, the fire department, the police arrived. All I could do was stand in the corner and watch as they tried to revive her. They realized what I had before they arrived, she was gone. Everything was in slow motion and seemed like the longest 5 minute ride to the hospital in the ambulance. There were so many people and so many questions. My parents made a hour trip in 25 minutes. The sadness in everyone's eyes as they heard the news. My dad could not bring himself to come within 50 feet of the room. It was just too tragic for him, his baby lost her baby. I sat with Alia for a very long time as family came in and out. I remember a religious pastor came in and prayed for her. I walked out of the hospital looking at angry, puzzled, and sad faces all around. About 50 family members were there. The only one not there was my other daughter who was almost 3 at the time who I did not remember seeing throughout the whole situation. I went off to be by myself and was just in shock, wondering what to do next and just not knowing anything except that my daughter who had tubes and things coming out of her, was on her way to the coroner. So now a little over two years later, and still not knowing my daughter's final moments, I feel lost but am somewhat found, because I have not only a 5 year old and another angel of God who is now one to fill my life. My oldest daughter has since lost her family, her home, her simple life, her dad because of divorce and him living with the nanny, and in a way her mother, because I am never gonna be whole again. I did not have another child to replace the one I lost, as someone asked me, I have another child because God is gracious enough to give me another angel to care for. Of course there are a lot of unanswered questions, but I am trying to move on the best way I can, one day at a time.
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