Stories of Lost Children
Carson Corbet
by Tracy S, London, Ontario, Canada
Our son Carson was born on July 9, 2004. He was 8lbs 13oz and was 22 inches long. Carson was a beautiful baby boy - the son that my husband longed for. I had a perfect pregnancy. I was not sick a day and had no problems at all. I worked until the day before Carson was born. I woke at 5am to go to the bathroom and noticed that my water had just broken. The contractions started an hour later. We were so excited and headed off to the hospital. They admitted me and checked on me occasionally. The contractions were getting very strong but the birthing rooms were all full so I had to wait and was only 4cm dialated. The pain was intense and I could not take it anymore, there was 30 sec. between each contraction. I was finally moved to a birthing room and 10 hrs. later given an epideral. What a relief, the pain stopped but so did the contractions. I was given a drug to help induce the labour and help my cervix dilate. At 11:30pm on the 8th of July I began pushing. I could feel nothing due to the epidural but pushed with all my might. 1 1/2 hours later I had a son. He passed meconium during labour and was not breathing, they suctioned him and worked furiously to try and revive him. They took Carson away and left my husband and I there as they finished the labour procedures. Carson was hooked to numerous montiors and a ventilator, but I thought he was going to be fine. I had such hope. Over the next few days he underwent numerous tests. The final CT showed that his brain was extremely swollen and that he had no brain activity. He never opened his eyes, cried or moved. I love him with all my heart. Carson died that night in our arms. It was beautiful and peaceful as he left earth to join the angels in Heaven. We had a funeral and continue to grieve. I want more than anything to hold our baby in my arms. Carson will never be forgotten, he will always be our first child. I never thought that something like this would happen to us. We have such a perfect life and had such high hopes for our new family and future. Those dreams were shattered and everything came crashing down around us. I am unable to face people other than my family and am afraid to leave the house alone. I know that in time I will heal but the pain in my heart is intense. I will always remember my little boy with his daddy's ears and my eyes. He was beautiful, perfect in every way, now he is an angel in heaven watching over and guiding us through life.
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