Stories of Lost Children
My Angel Girl
by Gail Suggs, Indianapolis, IN, U.S.A.
My 4th daughter Elizabeth was an unexpected gift. I had a normal pregnancy, tests were all normal. Then March 17, 2003, my little bundle of love came and the doctors knew something was wrong right away. She was what they call a blue baby. They transferred her to the childrens hospital here where she was diagnosed with Complex Congenital Heart Disease. She had many things wrong with her, but after a few months they did the first open heart surgery (at 4 months) its called a "unifocalization"; kind of where they re-wire the heart's arteries and etc. Amazingly she flew through that surgery and everyone was so happy (she spent about a month home the rest in the hospital). She made it through and the surgeon had saved her many surgeries, but she still had to have an asd closing. Well the time came for that about 3 months later and she made it through the surgery. But after the first night, she required all sorts of extra help. I knew she wasn't doing so well; its an instinct thing I guess. That would later resort to guilt for me. She had the surgery on Monday and the following Tuesday, they called me at home and told me that her heart stopped and I could come in. I went and 45 minutes later she was gone. They worked on her for 1-1/2 hrs. I tell myself that she just got tired of fighting, but the guilt and anger and hurt overwhelm me. I had always been able to keep my kids safe and this time I was helpless. We all thought she was going to live a long life; the doctors don't even know what happened. Tests revealed nothing, so I have to find a way to cope with this so I can help my kids and I am not sure how.
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