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Stories of Lost Children
Matthew "God's Gift"
by Wilma Dillon, Onion Lake, Saskatchewan, Canada Matthew was my only son. When I lost him March 1, 2000, my life, my heart, my spirit were totally shattered. Sometimes I wonder if my heart will ever heal. My family had just celebrated his 12th birthday on Feb. 11. We were all there, enjoying his life. He was so full of life, forever smiling-his smile-I will never forget it. He was my pride and joy. The meaning of his name, "God's Gift", is so fitting, he was a gift, and I am so grateful that God blessed me so. God took him back. I know he is in heaven, because the night I lost him, I was just about to start crying and freaking out, when a voice told me "I have him". I was able to calm down enough to say "goodbye". Even though I know he is in good hands, sometimes I cannot believe the pain in my heart, the emptiness I feel. He was so special to me and my family. By my "family" I mean my two daughters, my mother, my sister, my brother's, his cousins. He meant so much to all of us. His friends thought he was the best because he was the top in sports, his joking around, he always made them laugh, his teasing. He was a handful at times, but I wouldn't have missed those times for the world. Everything he did made him who he was, and that is why he is so special. Sometimes I feel so alone, like I am the only one who misses him the way I do. But I know that is not so. It is so bad that I often feel like I don't want to be here, but I also realize that my daughter's Chris and Faith need me. It hurts so much when I see a mom with their son's around his age. I am so jealous. I wonder what he would look like right now. Would he be more handsome now? I just ask God to show me the joy of living again. I have not felt joy or real happiness since that day that he left us. Please Lord help me. I miss you so much Matthew.
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