TT, La-La is still having a hard time dealing with this. I think of all the things I should have done and didn't. I think of all the things I wanted to do with you and can't. My heart aches with what ifs. Today I found out I am having a boy. I haven't told your mom yet. To me its going to make things even harder. I miss you so very much. I waited so long to be a grandma and I am. Just not like I thought I would be. I carry in my heart the feel of you and your beautiful face is forever burned into my very soul. La-La hopes you know baby how much you are loved.