October 31, 2009 - October 31, 2009

I lost My Elijah to Preterm Labor at 22 Weeks

I saw your post on Babysteps and I have also lost a child. I lost my son, Elijah Dorian way too soon. It has been seven months and it still hurts as if it were yesterday. I was five months pregnant when I went into preterm labor. I am not sure why. The doctors said that there was nothing that they could do to revive him because he would be considered to be enviable before six months of gestation. That a baby born at that stage would not have a chance of survival and therefore would not be revived. As soon as my son was born the doctors left the room and I was left in a room with a dying baby for several hours. My Eli breathed life for two hours and then he left me. I never saw this coming and I will never be the same. I miss him so much and cry for him every single day.

Today is Mothers Day and it is extra hard today. I am here and he is not. I want to hold him, kiss him and rock him to sleep. How can I be a Mother if i have no child? (tear) I have been trying to carry all of this weight on my own but I have shut my self off from the world and need to find another way to get through before I lose it completely.

Love You Always my sweet Elijah.

Love, Your Mommy

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