Jackie, I really don't know how to start this but to say we love you and miss you. I try to understand why you felt you had to do what you did. I wish I could understand what happened to you on the first day of this year but I don't. You changed so much and I don't think any of us really understand what happened. I know we didn't handle it really well but we never stopped loving you like you thought we did. I know you and me didn't always see eye to eye but you were my nephew for 34 years and I loved you. I will never be able to get the picture of you hanging in that tree out of my mind and it haunts me every day.
I really hope you are out of your suffering and are happy now because I know you sure weren't here on earth. I hope you know we love you and we will never forget you. You'll always be remembered, not for the bad things you did, but for the happy clown you use to be.
Love you always,