I Miss You
Its been 2 months since the loss of my son. Erwin was so handsome and smart, and he just made the Dean's List at his college. He was about to start the first day of school for his Junior Year. But the day before his Friend(so called) invited him to her family party. He was 20, his friend was 23 or 24. Anyway, after drinking a lot of alcohol, she dropped him off at his car. The Police found him the next morning in the middle of the road, hit by a truck. I found out when I got to work on a Monday morning. My heart and my mind hurts every day. I go to sleep seeing my sons face,and I wake up to his face. I see him driving by and walking into our home every day. Some days, I don't know what's more painful, seeing my husbands face and knowing he lost his oldest son or looking at my younger son knowing that he doesn't have his big brother anymore.
I know I will have to accept what has happened and I hope to be able to look at his picture one day without feeling like a dagger just went through my heart and my head. People keep saying cliche' stuff to me, and I know it's because they don't know what else to say, but it doesn't help. If you really think about it, when someone says, "just be lucky you had him for 20 years". Right now I don't see anything lucky about what's happenend. The world has missed out on my fantastic, charismatic, loving and caring son. And his dad, and his brother break my heart every day. But we will go on and mend and heal and look forward to opening our photo albums again.
Just writing these words feel theraputic....and to everyone, FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK!!
Mom & Dad and Louis