Stories of Other Loss
Amanda - My Beautiful Niece
by Robin Harris, Toronto, Canada
The saddest day of my life - April 2, 2003. My beautiful, talented 16 year old neice Amanda, felt like there was nothing left to keep her here on earth. She took her own life on that terrible, terrible day and every day since then has been sad and lonely without her. I don't know why she choose to end her life and I probably will never know. But each and every day I think about her and wonder what caused her so much pain that she felt she could not come and talk about it, that nothing could make her life any better. That thought is the first thing I think about when i wake up and the thing I think about before I sleep. I have been told that the pain I feel will lessen slightly with time, but with the constant, nagging thoughts every subside. Somehow I think not. Mandy was adopted and maybe somehow that is a connection to this tragedy. I loved Mandy with all my heart, I guess more than she could possibly have realized. I miss her every day and I know that sometime I will see her again and we will be together. I just want to give her the biggest, tightest hug and never let go. Love always, Aunt Robin
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