Stories of Other Loss
Taken By Terrorists
by J.M., ,
October 12, 2002. I saw on CNN there was a terrorist bombing in Bali, Indonesia. Immediately I called Rudy to see if he was ok, but I couldn't get through. He was not answering his phone. I was sure he was ok, just a bad connection. Surely he would not have been one of the ones affected by the bombing. Not my Rudy. We had been together for a year and a half and deeply loved each other. I had met his family and spent 3 weeks living with them when we got back from travelling in Australia. We had our wedding photos taken and celebrated our union in his village in June of 2002. Now, he was missing.
I contacted his family immediately to see if they had heard from him but they had not. They hadn't even heard about the bomb. I tried desperately to find him. I contacted everyone I knew, every hosptial, government office and rescue center. My search was getting nowhere so Rudy's mother flew in and gave forensic samples to the docotors at the hospital. She was then told to leave because body identifications would take 4-6 weeks. The horror of not knowing where someone you love is, if they are alive or not, is the most painful feeling. I kept thinking to myself, "maybe he is just at another hospital hurt and unable to contact me, maybe he has been flown to a hospital in Australia, maybe he is unconscious - but he can't be lying amongst these broken and burnt bodies, he just can't". 6 weeks after the bombing Rudy was finally identified amongst the broken and burnt bodies. I went to the morgue to recieve his death certificate. It was the worst day of my life. I then called his family and told them to come, that I had found their son. The months that followed are still a blur. I had to face so many obsticles and stresses. It has been unbelievably hard. And now, I'm left to deal with it all. The horrors of what I saw, experienced and what happened to me. It all hurts so much. Most people can't understand what I went through. I don't know how to express it with my friends and family. I don't know how to ask for help because I don't know what can help me. So I don't talk about it, I try not to think about it. But the pain inside is overwhelming. What can I do?
I write this story with tears of sadness streaming down my face. Please help me if you can. I reallly don't know what to do.
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