Stories of Lost Child
Siblings
Tragic
by Dori, St.. Helens, USA
My brother Rocky is nineteen. His nickname is ROCKSTAR. Rocky plays his guitar like no one is there. He comes into my room every morning and makes me listen to the newest song he had just learned. He draws as if the wind is sweeping his hands away. He loves to draw until people told him he should become an artist; he just wanted to do art for fun and to him if he became an artist it would ruin it. He is about six ft 3 in. All I know is he is tall and literally, I look up to him. He has very kind, golden brown eyes and golden brown long wavy hair almost to his shoulders. He has so many scars for doing stupid stuff, like skate boarding and jumping off cliffs. He always tells us that he is invincible. And he is so well known and loved in St. Helens that whenever we go somewhere someone knows him.
His smile is almost as bright as the sun. As soon as he walks through a door peoples days are happier. Rocky doesn’t leave until he made some one laugh. His laugh will make other people crack up. He has no clue how much he means to a lot of people like friends, family, people who just met him once!
One morning I wake up. I hear my mom crying out in the hall. I get up out of bed, and I look at my floor. Oh dang I need to clean my room. The floor is covered by clothes. My end table is filled with papers, journals and books. I get on my fuzzy pink slippers that are pigs. I walk out in the hall and my mom is at the front door, and there is also a policeman there. I knew something bad had happened, no doubt about it. I can see the sadness and fear in her eyes. “What is going on?” I say wondering why there is a cop bye our front door “Go back in your room“ she says sadly.
Why do I have to go to my room; I want to know what happened? A minute goes bye which feels like twenty. Is Chris ok, is Ryan ok did he get shot serving in the navy?
I walk out in the living room; they are not there and neither is Rocky. He usually sleeps in the living room, but he isn’t there. So I check my moms room, no one is there only the sheets all messed up and clothes on the floor. Thinking they are probably out in the garage, I go out in the garage and there is my mom and the policeman. No sign of Rocky. I ask my mom if she knows where Rocky is. She answers back with a shaking voice… you need to sit down, so I sit, and my mom tells me that Rocky is in the hospital. All she told me at that point is that he was on his way to ask a girl to marry him and he didn’t quite make it and he got ran over by a car. Instantly my eyes fill up with tears like a balloon fills up with air. A tear rolls on my cheek down my lips and on my sweat shirt. I ask my mom if I could go with her to the hospital.
She replies “no”
The policeman says you might want to take her and her sister. It might be the last time they get to see him.
I walk in to my older sister Nikkis room. I shake her and start to break down into tears I tell her that Rocky is in the hospital.
While she is getting ready and putting her shoes on Nikki tells me that I need to be strong for Rocky and my mom.
We get to the hospital and walk to the clear glass window were a lady was standing. My mom tells her that she is Rocky Walkers Mother. My mom pulls her I.D out and shows the lady in the window her card. She nods her head and speaks through the microphone “there will be a lady here in a little while, please wait in the waiting room.”
The waiting room only has a few people. But they are old. My mom calls Aunt Brenda and lets her know that we are at the hospital and that she needs to come now. My mom hangs up.
Then there’s an older lady who walks out and she does a hand sign telling us to come here. She leads us into a tiny room. It feels distant from the world, no life…no people. There was only two little couches and three paintings. My mom sits down on one of the couches and I sit next to her and then my sister and Lisa sat down on two chairs right next to each other. We all are patiently waiting for the doctor to come. Finally, a man with a doctors hat and shoe covers on comes in and sits on the table in the middle of the room. All I hear coming out of his mouth is, bla bla bla, and then he says I’m sorry he did not make it. Nikki gets up with watery eyes, and a red face and damp cheeks from crying. She runs out of the room into a empty white hall way with only a machine.
I am just sitting there with tears rolling down my face. I feel paralyzed, my mouth is dry, and my throat hurts. my heart feel like it stopped beating and my automatic reaction is to fall down and cry hugging my mom to let her know I never want her to go and that I love her so much. Seven and a half months have passed by, I’m not even close to being the same to be fore he died. For heavens sake my brother died. Could any one get over that? But I still cry almost every night, sometimes they are happy tears, but most of the time they aren’t happy…. I don’t smile that much, compared to before he died. I miss him more than anything I have missed in my entire life. To me it is so hard to lose someone so close, but he never leaves my mind not even at school. I sometimes feel guilty for doing something fun. I see his face, good images and bad ones, like I still can smell the spoiled smell from in the room Rocky was when he just died. And then I see his smiling face laughing. I always think why couldn’t he of stayed home that night. I miss when Rocky would always come to my school and walk with me home, or he would catch up with me when I walk to the store alone. I will never be the same as I was before Not until I am with him! I miss the way he would be there when I wanted him to be. I miss his mean egg sandwiches and omelets. I miss how he was still a kid at heart and he didn’t care about how people thought about him. I miss the way when I was sick he would be so nice to me and he would help me out! It isn’t like losing a pet dog or cat or any other animal. I know its sad too, but this is a whole new level. Dealing with grief is not to easy, points were I cry so hard for days without sleeping no eating, sitting and staring at his pictures and crying. At one point, I couldn’t sleep in my bedroom because it was his before mine. I felt as if I didn’t belong there: it was his. My mom tried telling me that it was my room but I felt as if there’s nothing of mine in there. My brother Dalton came into my room while I was crying on my pillow, and I screamed as if you were in the mountains you would hear me. I know it’s weird but I thought it was Rocky coming into my room. And still to this point I will ask him to give me a sign. One time, everybody was sleeping. All of a sudden I felt a hand on my cheek. I jump and I look down and it looked as if it was Rocky’s hand, but it was my sisters. That night I could not go to. I was so upset. When I grow older, I will tell my daughter and son how he was and tell them the memories of when I was their age, Like when he pushed me into the pool when I didn’t know how to swim, and he “saved” me, also how he had a cap gun I thought it was real, and I didn’t want to get shot so I jumped in the pool with out knowing how to swim and Rocky jumped in after me. Or when he stands up for me if I get pushed around. I will tell my nieces and nephews how great he was. No one can tell me that I need to get over it, that’s really not true yea I will get better as time goes by, but there is no way I will ever get over my brother Rockys death.
Rocky might of died, but he is sure not gone. His body might not be here yet his soul is. And maybe I will see him again. but till then all I can do is remember all the happy times with him and what all the things he did just to be Rocky. By Corina Narene Walker
|
