Stories of Lost Child
Siblings
April Died in May
by M., Senatobia, U.S.A.
April was only 3 and I was her big sister at 7. She was always right behind me on my heels. On Mother's Day 1978, I watched my little sister - my only sister/(my heart) die in a freak accident. Not only did I lose my sister, but I lost my parents and extended family (as I knew them). My father went from being Ward Cleaver to a cold shell of the man I used to know. I lost a mother, who forgot how to hug, kiss on the cheek. She would look at me and cry. My parents forgot how to love. They had each other...but I grieved alone. They said I couldn't understand the grief of a parent losing a child. I grew having to compete with a ghost. I would never be as pretty, as smart, athletic as April would have been. I forgot how to love. My life is a shell of "what could've been". I have found that the older I get, the harder its getting. Now, I grieve over the loss of a shopping buddy, neices and nephews I will never have, memories that will never happen.What I wouldnt give to have her following me and staying on my heels, now. But, what right do I have to complain? I've had 30 more years than she did. I should have died that day, too - maybe I did.!
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