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Stories of Lost Children

Tyler's last Tear
by Tara Avdem, DevilsLake, North Dakota, U.S.A.

I found out i was pregnant just two months after I got married. I was ecstatic. However, early in my pregnancy I had a dream that my child would die from a disease that my husband's nephew had. I quickly brushed my premonition aside chalking it up to paranoid mother syndrome.

My son Tyler was born on June 7, 1999. He was beautiful with lots of blond hair. However, the next day he still was not eating and had not had a bowel movement yet. Tyler ended up being transferred to another hospital to undergo tests. During the night his stomach had distended and an x-ray showed he had a bowel obstruction. Do to the fact that I had just had a c-section my beautiful boy was transferred without me.

He underwent tests and a week later was sent home and we were told the problem resolved itself.

Tyler battled Hirschsprung's disease the remainder of his seven week life. However no matter how many times he was taken to the doctor, they detected no problem. That is until he became acutely ill. He was then transferred to St. Paul Children's Hospital. He underwent three surgeries to correct his bowels, but it was too late. Part of his bowels had already died.

On July 25, 1999 on my one year anniversary my precious boy became an angel. i always felt I had a special connection to him. As I told him I loved him and it was ok to go with the angels that I knew were waiting for him, although he was heavily sedated, i saw a tear roll down his cheek, and I know that tear was meant for me, it was my goodbye.

I still feel my connection to him. I have had angels visit in my dreams. One even told me he loved me. I also believe without his help I would not have my son, Levi, healthy as ever now. I cannot have anymore children and last year the only thing I wanted was to be pregant by Christmas. When the odds were down, and it was almost impossible for me to get pregnant due to my ovulation, I became pregnant. I am sure that that was Tyler's special present to us. The doctor's were even amazed i was able to conceive again at all. Sometimes you are in the presence of angels and not know it. I truly believe all children are a gift from god.

I love you always my Tyler, my angel, my strength

Love always, MOMMY


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