Stories of Lost Children
The Day My Heart Stopped
by Veronica, Auburn, KY, U.S.A.
It was October 19,2017 the day I got the phone call that no mother and father should ever have to get. It was 4:00 p.m. I was just getting ready to clock out when my fiance come running in screaming my name. Just by his tone I knew something wasn't right but was not prepared for what he said next. Our 4 month old daughter had stopped breathing and we were to get to the hospital as soon as we could and to be safe. What was usually a 30 minute drive took less but seemed like it took hours. As we pull up to the hospital I was shaking and trying to keep it together but apart of me already knew. I walk through the door and a nurse Chaplin and corner was their which made it seem even more real. I tried to get back to my daughter but they grabbed me and said I couldn't go back there yet and put me in this room with glass windows. I was praying she would be ok but already knew she wasn't but I was still praying. They said the doctor will be out to talk to you shortly. I sat there and waited and finally he came out. I knew the doctor and automatically knew something was wrong when he wasn't smiling and I got up and greeted him at the door. I asked if my baby was ok and he grabbed me and shook his head and said baby girl I'm so sorry we have done everything we could do and have been working on her for over 30 minutes and she hasn't responded. I lost it. I was crying and saying I want my baby take me to her. And he said ok we will take you back there now. As I entered the room I broke down even more. There my baby was laying on a gurney lifeless a tube down her throat machines hooked to her and no heart beat and the poor nurses were doing there best to bring her back. But it was to late. I couldn't take it no more so I told them to just stop. I grabbed my angel and held her for as long and as tight as I could having to be careful not to squeeze her to hard. I begged I pleaded and I did everything I could but she wasn't coming back. And then I heard a gurgling sound that came from her tube I thought it was her trying to come back but it wasn't. It was just from where they had done CPR and tried to give her oxygen. That day my life was forever changed. I was crying one minute, angry the next, and then quiet. Her dad was torn apart for the first time I seen him break down and about hit his knees. On the 22nd of October we laid her to rest. The pain that we are going through I wouldn't wish on anybody. Its a pain that never goes away, its constantly there and all your left with is what if, what did I do wrong, what could I have done differently, and memories of when they were alive and happy and the ones of when you got to see her for the last time before she was laid to rest. Never take a second of life for granted tell your children you love them every day more if you need to no matter how old they are. Make sure you tell those you are close to you love them because you never know when it could be the last time you get to say it or see them alive.
|
