Stories of Lost Children
Sleeping Beauty - Hannah
by T.S., Panama City, FL, U.S.A.
The week started off well, my husband and I celebrated our anniversary the day before we were headed to our 20-week ultrasound. We already have two boys, so we were super excited about having a baby girl! I wish that was where my story ended, but the ultrasound tech stopped talking and said she couldn't find what she was looking for because the baby was much. What sound have taken about 20 minutes, turned in to about 40 minutes, but all seemed well. A few moments later my OBGYN comes in and tells me that there were concerns from the ultrasound tech about our baby's heart and that she may have a cleft lip. Initially I was shocked, I cried about her not being perfect, but I just knew it wasn't anything surgery couldn't fix. The second opinion was done by a high-risk doctor; which confirmed what was previously told to us, and also advised me that our baby was very sick. She has a heart condition, her kidneys did not form correctly, smaller head for her age, and cleft lip & palate. His diagnosis was Di George Syndrome. Due to the severity and numerous issues that she has, she wasn't expected to survive or live a life without decency on her own. Later that week, we went in to labor and our daughter was stillborn. We named her Hannah Teagan Noor. I held her in my arms until I couldn't hold her anymore. I sung to her, I cried, and couldn't understand why God would take away my joy, my light. She was so beautiful, and seemed so perfect to me. I spend hours looking what I could have done wrong, what could have been done differently to keep her here, but nothing brought her back or took my grief away. If anyone has advice on how to get through this pain, please let me know. I miss my baby so, so much and I just want my heart to heal.
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