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Stories of Lost Children

Wyatt
by K., Kitchener, Ontario, Canada

The day that I looked at that + sign on the pregnancy test was the happiest I've been so far in this life. I was gonna have a baby!!! I made all the preparation for the little gaffer to arrive, ate healthy, took my vitamins, stayed away from the bad stuff and read every thing I could. On Feb 16th 2013 everything came crashing down and my world fell apart.
I woke up that Sat and asked a friend to go for breakfast,I was so excited to show off my ultrasound picture I had done the day before. everyone kept asking me what I was having and I didn't know because I wanted to wait. this is the only time I would do this, I'm 35 and have waited my whole life to have a baby for a reason. I was ready now. My sister knew what I was having and was going to reveal it at my baby shower in June. I had some pains but I didn't think anything of it because I had, had pains for months. As the day went on, they got more intense, but I felt like I had to go to the washroom, I decided to go to the hospital, at 3:23 pm. within an hour I was 1 cm dilated, I knew there was nothing that could be done because I was 20 weeks and 6 days along, I was transferred to our closest hospital that deals with babies, within in the 10 minutes it takes to get there I was 8 cm. The doctors and nurses were very helpful in explaining what was happening, not that I was listening. I heard his heartbeat for the first time that day. 10 mins later I was 10 cm and this was it. My beautiful baby boy came into the world at 6:18 pm. He was perfect! 13.8 oz and 11 inches long!

It has been 3 months since I lost the love of my life and my heart has been shattered into a gazillion pieces. some days I think the sadness will actually kill me.

I have wonderful family and friends who are helping me through this. I have been told that it gets easier with time. That it won't be so raw, I hope that this is true.



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