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Stories of Lost Children

In Loving Memory of Alicia Jamie
by Caroline, Calgary, AL, Canada

I found out I was pregnant shortly after my 17th birthday. It was a shock. I was afraid of telling anyone. But my mom already knew. She asked me and I said yes. She told me to be there for me whenever I need her. Daddy was shocked but seemed to be happy. Billy...oh yes Billy !!! He screamed "I LOVE YOU !" He was the happiest man alive. And I was so afraid to tell him. I was due on Sept. 16th !!!

On September 2nd, I woke up and felt this very bad pain. I never thought about labor cause it not the 16th. Two more weeks to go. After waking up my parents, the rushed me into the hospital. I screamed "I will not have this baby without Billy!". So they called him. He was there immediately. I think he took a flight to the hospital. it was really quick. LOL !!! Alicia Jamie was born on Sept. 2nd 2000 at 3:46 a.m. !!!! She was perfect !!! We cried while she laid on my belly. Billy took her and cut the umbilical cord. Never saw him so proud before. She was laying in his arms and the first thing he said to her was: "Hi Alicia Jamie, I'm your daddy. We will have a lot of fun. I will
always be there when you need me!" I cried while hearing these words. We took her home on Sept. 4th !!!

The first 2 days I stayed at my parents house, cause ours wasn't finished yet. When we showed Alicia her room for the first time, she cried. I think she liked it, but was afraid of sleeping in her own room !!! Oh god...if I had known before this would end in a nightmare !!!! Everything was going fine ! Alicia was a very happy baby and everybody
loved her. On Sept. 26th we had to bring her to the hospital again, cause she had high temperature. They said we shouldn't worry and took her home after 3 days in hospital. After that she was very good and as happy as before.

Then on Oct. 20th...the worst day of my life...she decided to live with god. I laid her down for a nap. While she was sleeping I did the laundry and other things. I decided to wake her up and drive to my parents house. When I opened the door of her room I knew she was gone. I just knew it, I don't know why. I called 911 !!! While waiting for them I started CPR on her. All I could think about was...her prom, her first boyfriend, her first spoken word, seeing her laughing, running around, driving a car, her marriage and her own children !!!! I didn't want to lose her. The ambulance came and continued the CPR. After 30 minutes of trying the stopped and told me that she is dead !!! I broke down, screamed, cried....!!! I called my parents and Billy !!! Everybody was shocked !!!! They took me into hospital and I had to stay there overnight. My parents did all the other work for us (funeral...)!!!

The funeral was on Oct. 27th. About 100 people were there to say good-bye ! It was good to have all these people around me !!! Billy and I cried so much !!! Many flowers were laid on her casket. It was overwhelming to see all these people crying for my baby !!! Shortly after her funeral I found out that I'm pregnant again. Due on July 30th 2001 !!!They were born premature April 7th 2001. Their names are Vanessa-Sophie and Kaitlynn-Marie ! And both are healthy ! I think these tiny babies are a new chance for us !!!! Alicia Jamie will always be our first born child !!!

We love you Alicia...always and forever !!!!


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