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Stories of Lost Children

My Sweet Boy
by Jessica, Lake City, TN, USA

I took a test on Dec 6 2007 positive we were scared and happy. I have 4 children and my husband has 3 and we would join our family with Matthew our sweet little boy. Friday July 11th we went shopping for more things that Matthew would need. He was due to join us Aug. 17 2008 and we spent all of Friday shopping for Matthew and he was kicking like crazy that night. We went home and to bed and I woke up at about 7 with contractions. I was in a lot of pain and I was at my parents house and the time I got up and went to the bathroom and all of a sudden blood was pouring out and it was all I could do to keep from passing out. I knocked on the wall of the bathroom til my dad came to the door all I could do was whisper HELP. he broke down the door and I told him to call 911. This was my 5th pregnancy and I knew something was very wrong. When I got to the hospital they could not get a good heartbeat and I was rushed in for an C-Section (my first). I was alone and scared to death. There was so many doctors and nurses in the room one man put his hand over my head and prayed for me and then they put me to sleep. When I woke up, a nurse was beside me and I asked for my baby and she said your baby didn't make it and I was out again. When I woke up again, the doctors and my husband were there and they told me what had happened was called abruption of placenta which I had never heard of before. I dont remember much from my hospital stay except for the time that we spent with our Matthew holding him kissing him pictures of him.

Tomorrow will be 7 weeks and I feel so lost and alone at times. I just want to die and I do think of my other children and know that I have to be here for them. In the hospital they kept asking what do you want to do with your son and I yelled I want to take him home and that is when we decided that we would not bury our boy but have him cremated so we could take him home with us.

We love you Matthew and we will never forget you my sweet baby boy.


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