Stories of Lost Children
Our Grace May
by Angela Spivack, Natick, MA, U.S.A.
On November 12, 2007 we decided to try for a sibling for our twins. We had lost a pregnancy early on the year before, but the doctors had said it was just one of those things, and we should not worry. So we tried, and Grace May was conceived on my 39th birthday (or there-about). We were so happy to see a healthy baby growing at 6 weeks and again at 13 weeks. The doctor told us that everything looked great and that there was little risk of Trisomy 21 (Down's) based on the ultrasound. When I started to bleed the next day, I worried, but thought it might have been from the ultrasound. The bleeding continued for several days, and when it became very worrisome, I decided to see a new doctor. They found the problem right away and felt the baby was healthy and I just needed some rest and medication to stop the contractions. I was so happy when the bleeding also stopped, and had a few days of feeling better. We had a followup ultrasound, and my mom and twins got to see our new little baby moving around in me. How exciting! The doctor told me that everything looked fine and to just continue as we were doing. The next day the world came crashing down on us when we received a call from the first doctor that the testing showed that our baby may have Trisomy 18, and it is "not compatible with life." How could that be, when I was already feeling the baby moving around in me at just over 17 weeks? They told us how her heart was in the wrong place, and had two major problems besides. She had a cyst in her brain and no connection to her stomach and several other health problems, and no doctor would perform surgery if she made it to term. After two more level 2 ultrasounds and an amniocentesis, I spent a night in the hospital when they thought she was going to be born early because the bleeding started again, as a result of the amnio. The doctor was surprised to see our little girl moving all around, with her legs crossed as in the last ultrasounds. Seems she now had problems with the hips as well. Things were quiet over the next two weeks as we tried to figure out what was happening and why. We scheduled a 3D/4D ultrasound that the company graciously offered for free, and I am so happy that we did it. We saw only the perfect features of our precious little girl, as we now knew for sure she was. None of the awful things the doctors kept telling us were there could be seen, even though the ultrasound tech tried to persuade us to not do it. I will always have the dvd of Grace May safe inside me, and she will always remain perfect in my mind. On March 25, 2008 at 8:38AM Grace May entered the world 4 months too soon. She never took a breath, but as she was being born she managed to put out her right hand. I will always know that she was reaching out to our loving Father to take her home. She went from the safety and warmth of my womb to Jesus' warm embrace. She weighed 8.8 oz and was a long 9". We were able to see her and hold her to say goodbye and we will never forget the precious time we had with her. The glorious part of Grace's story is that she helped to save my life, because of her illness. I requested a genetic test to make sure that we would not have another child born with Trisomy 18 and the doctors discovered that I may have a rare form of anemia that often causes leukemia. I am cancer free to date, and pray every day that it stays that was. I feel as though Grace is watching over me and and will always be there. We love you Grace May! Mommy, Daddy, Sammy and Peter
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