Stories of Lost Children
Quentin Kaleb
by Kim, Chicago, IL, U.S.A.
After 10yrs and 4 children, at 36yrs of age I find out I'm pregnant! I was nervous, but oh so excited! There hadn't been a baby in this family for eight years. Everyone in the family was so thrilled that we had a baby on the way. My children were all happy to see their little brother. What will be his name? We all tried to think of a name that suited. Finally! Since he will the fifth born I thought let's name him Quentin? Everyone liked that. During my pregnancy it was the norm. Every doctor appointment was normal. My baby's heartbeat was normal every time. On Sept 1, 2007 my water bursts at 6:30am and I make it to the hospital at 6:45am. The doctor checks me and informs me that I'm at 3 cm already. It won't be long and it wasn't. My son Quentin Kaleb was born Sept 1,2007 at 10:14am. A very easy delivery. Unfortunately, my son was having some difficulty breathing and so they put him in intensive care immediately. I didn't even get a chance to hold him. The nurse got me together and after a few hours I can now go and visit my son. Upon my visit the doctor informs me that they have been performing a number of tests to see what the complications of Quentin's breathing are. By 11pm they decide to transport Quentin to a more experienced hospital(Childrens Memorial). They had to intubate him for transport it's a success and Quentin is doing fine. At Childrens they do a cat scan and realize that Quentin has a underdeveloped left heart(hypoplastic left heart) and was not getting enough blood flowing from the heart to the lungs to provide enough oxygen to breath. From there on the nightmare gets worse. They inform me that they would have to perform surgery on my new little baby boy, and the risks of death are possible. But without the surgery Quentin would most certainly die. As A mother, what do you do? I had one day to decide. In the meantime they used medications to keep the duct open in order for him to maintain.When they got all the charts together and the surgeon who would perform the surgery it was decided that Quentin would go into surgery on Friday Sept 7, 2007 at 6:30am. Because Quentin was hooked up to so many heart monitors, IV's, nutrition through the navel cords & oxygen monitors, I never got a chance to hold my baby. My baby boy fought and made it through surgery at 3pm, he survived five almost six hours in recovery and then went into cardiac arrest and died at 8:39pm. I am so sick I don't know what to do. It seems as if I am alone and no one cares to understand how or what I'm feeling because they don't want to re-live the pain. My pain hasn't gone away. I can't eat(but I do try) I can't sleep. My heart goes on for my other children, and without them I don't know what I would do. I so so much was anticipating my little bundle of joy. I miss him to this day. I got a chance to get pictures of him. I ponder over them and remember him moving or crying when I changed his pamper. I remember him looking around at everyone with those bright eyes. I think about the faces he used to make. I guess I do still have something to hold on to. My other children got a chance to come to the hospital and see their little brother. They miss him also.
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