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Stories of Lost Children

ScottMan
by Stephanie, Fairfield, PA, U.S.A.

My son Scott Alexander Harbaugh was born on May 5, 2000. He was my second child. He had an older sister named Courtney who was 2 when he was born. I knew right away that something was off when Scott was born. I couldn't get any of my doctors to listen to me. Finally, when he was 11 weeks old, Scott had an actually seizure in front of our doctor (thank god). After many test thay thought he had epilepsy.

Two years went by, and our neurologist was ready to start seeing us once a year. I wasn't convinced that we were out of the woods yet and demanded more tests be done.

In August of 2004 Scott was diagnosed of having an Astrocytoma, grade level II. I remember feeling very confused. One minute the doctor is telling me that all he will need is surgery when he was older to cancer. I felt angry. Scott underwent chemotherapy for 2 years, and nothing. April 30, 2006 Scott's tumor turned aggressive. The doctor's said he had a stroke. It was a miracle, but he recovered after being in the hospital for 6 weeks. The doctors informed us that Scott would only have about a year left to live. We were devastated. Scott passed away August 29, 2007.

I would have spent the rest of my life taking care of him. He was delayed and couldn't talk, but that didn't matter to me. I adapted to him. To see him smile, laugh, or even watch him sleep, lit up my life. I never knew peace until I had him. I feel empty, and lost. Everyday is getting worse. I am trying to "live" my life. I thought I would feel blessed that he is no longer in any pain. That he no longer has to see any doctors.

I miss you.


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