Stories of Lost Children
Angel of God
by Lisa, Iowa City, IA, U.S.A.
I went to the doctor's on Feb.22, 2007 for an ultrasound and checkup. My son and I both wanted a boy (he was gonna be Christian's best buddy). I had already picked out names. Malachi(means Angel of God) if it was a boy. At the ultrasound they told me it was a boy. He was sucking his thumb on one of the pictures that they gave me. I would feel him move all the time, and he would get the hick ups. I wasn't feeling him move as much so I went to the doctor's on March 2nd(I was 23 weeks). They found his heart beat and said he was fine. I felt him squirm around on Saturday March 3rd. On Sunday I had a birthday party for my son Christian. Monday March 5th was my birthday. I thought that I might be getting the flu, because I was cramping a little bit. I couldn't fall asleep that night. My cramps kept getting worse, so I called the hospital. They told me to come in. I woke Christian up and got him dressed. We got to the hospital at 5am. They looked for a heart beat forever, then brought the ultrasound. By then I knew that something was very wrong so I called my mom. They checked me and said that he was already in the birth canal. I was able to hold him in til my mom got there to take Christian out of the room. Malachi William Bertoli was born at 6:18am on March 6th 2007. MY milk came in the other day and it's a horrible reminder that I don't have my baby. I have 5 friends that are pregnant; I feel like their scared that it might be catching and don't want to be near me. At The same time I hate them because they get to have their babies. My 6 year old is mad at god for taking his baby. I told him god just loved Malachi so much he just wanted to take him home right away. Today the woman at the store asked me when I was due. I just feel very empty. In the morning in between sleep, and being awake, I forget and expect him to move. If anyone can give me some advise on how to get through this or anything my E-mail is lisabertloi@msn.com Mommy misses you Malachi my little angel of God
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