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Stories of Lost Children

Still Trying to Cope
by Chris Russo, Louisville, KY, U.S.A.

Here I am at work, sitting in front of my computer in a pool of tears. Why? because the phone rang. It took me back 14 months and 4 days ago, to the day I got the call from my daughter telling me that she just got a phone call that her brother has died. It happens quiet a lot. Just something as simple as the phone ringing.

I don't know what I expected when Bill's 1st anniversay came in December. I guess I thought it was going to be a magic date, all the pain I was in would just go away because I had made it though a year of hell. Well of course that did not happen. There is no magic date, no magic pill. There is nothing out there that is going to make me feel better. There is nothing out there that is going to make me the person I was before I lost my son.. At times it surprises me that I am able to function. I go on remote. Get up, get dressed, drive to work. Come home, just like everyone else.

It has been 14 months. I am still taking it one day at a time. Some times I can make it through the day at work and get into my car for the drive home before the tears come. Most days the tears are there on my way to work in the morning. I miss him so much at times I can't breath. My heart aches for him. My ears listen for the "Hi Mom, it's me, Bill" that I will never hear again. My heart aches for my daughter that cries every day because her brother is gone.

I love and miss you every day Bill.

Love Mom.


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