Stories of Lost Children
My Little Fighter
by Sue Murdock, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
My son Caden Ryan Matthew Murdock arrived into this world much too soon, at 25 weeks, on June 3, 2006, and left even sooner, a short 4 days later. I am thankful that I got to hold him and kiss him but wanting to hold him forever was not what was to be. My life was so stressed and I couldn't eat properly and I couldn't think straight to care for myself and for him. I feel bad and I feel guilty, and I just want my baby back!! I went into premature labour and they couldn't stop it. They tried everything, but had to take him by C-Section as he turned last minute. It seems like a lifetime ago. So unreal still. It's been almost 6 months now.
Here is a poem I wrote: Sitting here thinking, and wanting to forget.
Not wanting to remember the life that we had.
It hurts to remember, yet feeling bad if I don't.
His life was but for a moment and then it was gone...
When I think of him, my sweet baby boy, the tears run rampant...I can only cry...
I long to look at his tiny frame...
to hold him...
to kiss him...
to whisper his name...
Now my baby is gone forever...
my heart aches and my arms feel so empty...
Why did he go? Only God knows the answer, and He chose His Son as my ransom...
I can only sit here and cry...
but knowing that God knows the reason why...
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