Stories of Lost Children
Our First Born
by Tina Shannon Krohn, Colonial Beach, VA, U.S.A.
Our first little baby to be born was a great joy to us but to find out shortly after labor that he wouldn't live long, made my chest feel real weird and my body weak. I was expecting to take home a healthy baby (after he had his surgery of course) but all I got was 4 and 1/2 hours. (the best hours of our lives I might add). He was very sick with a congenital heart disease and a chromosome disease that was not compatible with life. He was also born with the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times. He was born very blue and lifeless. Thanks to my wonderful husband, he came to for the love he wanted before he had to leave us so suddenly. I was excited but very scared when I found out I was pregnant on November 30th 2005 because I have been pregnant five times before him and have no kids to show for the pain and hurt I have been through. At my 6 week checkup after I had my son, they informed me that I had a very rare disease called Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. It is where my blood clots too much knocking off the oxygen and nutrients to the baby while pregnant causing strokes for me before, after, or during pregnancy. Therefore I blamed myself for the reason my only born child had died. But now I know it wasn't me; what I have is different then what he died from. But I still have that pain. I can't sleep because when I close my eyes, all I see is him the day I was in labor and him laying in that casket. I go through my memories step by step now causing depression to myself and the ones who are beginning to worry. But I know our little boy is there with us helping us through any problem we might encounter.
The point in this story is to let all of you out there know you are not alone. I have been there and I think we might need someone who has been through the same to talk with. Maybe it will help; it beats having to pay a therapist or bereavement counselor. Therefore I am giving you my email if you would like to talk about anything to get it off your chest. Write to me. I am here; I know I need someone to talk to right now. I just had my son June 22nd 2006. And I am in serious pain. Please write to me. I think it will help us all. At least a little.
mommaon7_15@yahoo.com I'm here for you and I have faith in all of us to get through this. I'm not asking you to forget because you can't but you can talk and it will make you feel better to know someone can help. No matter what, the pain will always be there. To our little boy, we love you and we need you to help us through this as well. We will never forget you baby. We love you and miss you very much.
Love Always, Mommy and Daddy
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