Stories of Lost Children
Trying to Cope
by Chris Russo, Louisville, KY, U.S.A.
It is 9 months today that my son Billy left us. I am still in the state of shock and disbelief. I wake up every day thinking it was just a bad dream, I put my feet on the floor and reality sets in. No, Billy is gone. We had Bill for 36 years, I know that is a lot longer than some of the heart breaking stories I hear and read about, but that does not make the pain any easier. Billy had a bad back, but I no idea that he was abusing his pain medication. We did not now until 5 months after his death that it was from a pain patch that we still do not know how he got. What is even sadder is that because it was not his prescription we cannot do anything about it. I do not want another family to go through what we are going through, because of a pain patch that should not be on the market.
I had Billy cremated, he is with me and when I die he will be buried with me. He will never be alone again.
My faith has never been strong, but after Billy's death, what I had is now as dead as my son. I miss him so much, the pain at times is just unbareable. If it wasn't for my daughter, I would have tried to join Billy. But I can't do that to her. She would not be able to stand the pain of losing her brother and then her mother.
So I count the days and the months. Christmas will be here soon and Billy died on 12/15/06. I know he would want us to put up the tree and celebrate the holdiday, but I am not up to it and today I don't know if I ever will be able to face the holidays again. So everyday I go through the motions. Everyday I look at pictures of my handsome son and ask why? Chris Russo
Louisville, Ky
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