Stories of Lost Children
A child so loved
by Mary Ulibarri, Cleburne, TX, U.S.A.
With my senior year in high school coming to an end, I knew that I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. I didn't bother picking out a college or dorm room supplies. My boyfried of three years and I were to get married and have our first child. Then sometime down the road after he was done with college I would choose a career outside of the home. My husband and I married on August 11 and were jumping up and down in joy over our first pregnancy within months. We just couldn't believe that WE were going to be parents. I knew it was a boy; I just knew it. For the first five months I relaxed, focused on putting our home together--giggled and grinned at tiny "onesies". The night before our five months doctor appointment, I cried. I don't know why I cried but I did. The next day I got a call from my doctors nurse to inform me that the doctor was out today but that if I wanted, I could still come in to see what the sex of the baby was. Of course my husband and I were all in about that one. We wanted to know!! We get in for our doctor appointment and are both smiling at magazines, neither of us are reading, until they call our names and both of us jump up simultaneously--and --the ultrasound shows that we will soon be the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy. As I remember it, we were on the phone with both sides of the family before we reached the elevator. The next day after my husband had gone to school O get another unexpected call from the doctor's nurse telling me that the baby's chest size was adding up larger than average and that if we wanted to, they could get me in to see a specialist that day. I immediatly called my husband crying and trying desperately to explain through the tears about what was going on. No later than 10 minutes, my mother is high tailing it home from Austin and my in-laws are at my front door five minutes later and we're on our way. When we arrive, I at this point am in a trance of fright. When they called us back, no one jumped up in a hurry. We all took our time entering what would soon become a nightmare. As it turns out our little boy had a Diaphragmatic Hernia and only a small percent of living. More and more doctor appointments are scheduled to keep up with the growth of our little one and each appointments and ultrasounds showed that not only was he growing wonderfully but that that he was full of energy...and hair. Months of fury, worry and bliss come and go--not fast enough--and I spend my time playing with booties, painting stars, fondling my belly and daydreaming about the little one growing inside of me. At 38 weeks the doctors decided he had grown enough and it was time to take him so that nothing worse could happen. Corbin Maxwell Ulibarri was born January 27, 2006 at 11:04am and within moments was wisked away to NICU to be helped. At first the doctor informed us that he was doing great. His color was great. He was opening and closing his eyes. He peepeed twice! Unfortunatly the good news lasted no longer than an hour. As soon as we made it too the hospital room, nurses rushed in to take us over to the NICU so that the doctor could then tell us that our son was very sick and only had a 30% chance of survival and that if we still wanted them to try ecmo that they would. Of course we gave our consent. We wanted that little boy more than anything in this world. Corbin past away just 3 hours and 33 minutes later. Corbin has become my whole families inspiration and has drawn us closer than what I could have ever imagined. With our hearts filled with unbelievable love and and our eyes filled with tears we strive through everyday over grief for this child, grandchild and great-grandchild. Corbin was put to rest three days before his due date. On his stone we engraved "daddy's little helper" "mommy's little angel" and put a star with a halo. we love you son.
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