Stories of Lost Children
My Precious Ryan Daniel
by Maria l. Dalrymple, Corpus Christi, TX, U.S.A.
MY HUSBAND AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE WERE EXPECTING A BABY UNTIL WE WERE 3 MONTHS PREGNANT! I THOUGHT I HAD THE FLU, SO WE WENT TO THE DOCTOR ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT I WAS PREGNANT. I'LL NEVER FORGET THE DAY WE FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT. I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING WE DID THAT DAY.....LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY! I STILL REMEMBER SEEING AND HEARING THE FLUTTERING HEARTBEAT....HOW AMAZING!!!!! MY HUSBAND HELD MY HAND AS THE TECHNICIAN JOYFULLY SAID, "MAAM YOU ARE ABOUT 3 MONTHS PREGNANT AND THERE IS YOUR BABY. TEARS ROLLED DOWN MY CHEEKS, WE WERE ELATED! WE EVENTUALLY TOLD FAMILY,FRIENDS AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO WOULD LISTEN. THIS WAS OUR FIRST CHILD, WE HAD WAITED WHAT SEEMED LIKE A LIFETIME TO HAVE A CHILD. FINALLY, OUR DREAM WAS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.....UNTIL........... ON MONDAY, JULY 10,2006, I HAD A ROUTINE APPOINTMENT WITH MY OBY/GYN AND I WAS FAMILIAR WITH THE PROCEDURES AT EVERY APPOINTMENT. I WOULD GO INTO ONE OF THE ROOMS AND PATIENTLY WAIT FOR HER TO COME IN AND EXAMINE ME. MY HUSBAND WAS ABLE TO TAKE ME TO THIS APPOINTMENT (THANK GOD---AS WE WORK DIFFERENT HOURS). THE DOCTOR FINALLY CAME IN AND CHECKED FOR THE HEARTBEAT SHE LOOKED CONCERNED AND THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT WILL BE FOREVER ETCHED IN MY MIND AND HEART, "I'M UNABLE TO DETECT A HEART BEAT!!!!!!!!" WHAT??????????????????????? I COULDN'T BELIVE WHAT I WAS HEARING. EVERYTHING WAS IN SLOW MOTION AFTER THAT. SHE IMMEDIATEDLY HOOKED ME UP TO AN ULTRASOUND MACHINE AND STILL NO HEARTBEAT; THEN SEND ME DOWN THE HALL FOR A CONCLUSIVE ULTRASOUND AND STILL NO HEARTBEAT. SHE THEN SAID THOSE WORDS THAT BROKE OUR HEARTS AGAIN INTO A MILLION PIECES, "YOUR CHILD HAS PASSED AWAY!!!!!!!!" MY HUSBAND WAS IN DESBELIEF/SHOCK AS WAS I! I WAS ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL THAT EVENING AND THE INDUCTION OF LABOR BEGIN. I DELIVERED MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY 2 DAYS LATER ON WEDNESDAY, JULY 12,2006 (ITS ONLY BEEN 1 MONTH TODAY). HIS IMAGE WILL FOREVER BE ETCHED IN OUR HEARTS/MINDS. HE HAD SO MUCH BLACK HAIR (AS DO I) AND HAD MY NOSE. HE HAD MY HUSBANDS TOES THE EXACT FORMATION! HE WAS SO VERY PERFECT!!!!! I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN TO US; OR WHY IT HAPPENS TO ANY PARENT??? NO PARENT SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS TRIAL/SUFFERING. IT IS A HEAVY CROSS TO CARRY! ALONG WITH LOSING OUR PRECIOUS SON WE HAD TO MAKE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS AND BURRY HIM! (WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY????) IT SEEMS I HAVE CRIED A TRILLION TEARS AND NOTHING WILL BRING HIM BACK. WE WERE SO CLOSE (7 MONTHS PREGNANT) YET SO FAR AWAY!
I DON'T KNOW HOW WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS ENORMOUS HEART WRENCHING PAIN! NO WORDS SEEM TO CONSOLE US. WE WALK AROUND LIKE ZOMBIES; NIGHTS ARE SO LONG AND DAYS ARE EVEN LONGER. EVERYONE WANTS US TO FEEL BETTER......BUT I GUESS ONLY TIME AND FAITH WILL HEAL US SOME DAY! I HOPE SO, CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL DO WITHOUT OUR PRECIOUS PRECIOUS PRECIOUS SON RYAN DANIEL DALRYMPLE!!!!!! WE MISS YOU BABY BOY!
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