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Stories of Lost Children

She was so special God wanted her all to Himself
by Kelli, Easton, PA, U.S.A.

This story is about my beautiful daugther, Alexis Maya Riviello, and the four days that I got to spend with my precious angel.

When I was 9 months pregnant, on July 6th, I got in a car accident, where the other driver who was at fault hit me head on. I hit my stomach on the steering wheel, and I was rushed out to a local trauma center, where they kept me overnight, but they said that the baby and I were ok, and that I would be able to go home.

Over the next few days, I was having very painful contractions and I was dilating. On July 8th they kept me overnight, where they said that my contractions where very unusual, so they gave me morphine for pain. (Everyone now says that they can get in trouble for that, but I didn't know.)

The next day, on July 9th, the doctor came in around 8 a.m. and decided he wanted to induce my labor. They started me with patosin and broke my water, but after a few hours they lost my daughters vitals so they had to do an emergency c section.

I didn't even get to see my daughter the first day. I was recovering from the c section and Alexis in the NICU, she had been put on a ventilator because she wasn't breathing on her own when she came out. The doctors thought that she was sleepy or still having effects from the morphine that I was given the night before, so they said not to worry and that she was going to be fine.

After 2 more days of her not being very responsive and not moving a lot they decided to send her to the Childrens Hospital in Philadelphia (CHOP) to do neurological tests to see if anything was wrong with her brain. They said if it were the morphine that she would be coming out of it by that point.

On July 12th an MRI was done on Alexis' brain, and it showed that from the car accident, Alexis lost oxygen to her brain, and it damaged her brain, globally. It wasn't just one part of the brain (if it were another part would be able to make up for the part lost) it was the whole brain that was damaged. But they had high hopes and said she may just be like autistic or may not be able to develop some motor skills, but I would have been able to handle that.

That day they also did an EEG test, to test her brain activity, and the results came back the next day. This time they weren't very optomistc. They said that even when stimulated, her brain had barely any activity, and if she were to live, she would be no more than a vegtable, not able to walk, talk, see, hear...she would never be able to enjoy the life like she deserved to.

July 13th was my last day with my precious little angel. They took her off the ventilator, and said that if she were to breathe on her own and live, we would go from there and make arrangements to take care of her condition. If not, I decided that if she couldn't breathe on her own not to put the ventilator back on because I didn't want her to have to suffer who whole life by being nothing.

My daugther was baptised, I got to wash her and cut off a lock of her hair (more like a big chunk!), I took her footprints and handprints, and then I dressed her in a cute outfit with a pink skirt, and on the onesie it said "mommy's girl". Then we took her off the ventilator.

My family and I all took turns holding her, singing to her, enjoying the time we had with Alexis, because we weren't sure how long or short it would be. She breathed on her own for 2 hours, but eventually succummed to her injuries, because her brain was so damaged it wasn't even telling her to breathe.

Everyday is a struggle for me. It's so hard to think that I had such a normal and healthy pregnancy, but one incident like a car accident ruined all my plans and all my hopes and dreams for my little daugther. What's worse is the man that was driving was driving with a suspended license, he didn't even deserve to be on the road. And because of his negligence I don't have my daughter here with me today, when I should.

But I know that my daughter is smiling down on me from heaven, giving me strength to get through the pain ... I just wish I was there with her.


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