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My Jonathon
by Gina Petty, Wichita Falls, TX, U.S.A.

It's been 9yrs 3 months since the loss of my baby boy Jonathon Earl Petty - Jonathon was named after maternal Grandfather and Earl is from his paternal Grandfather. Since then I have been blessed with 2 beautiful girls Destiny (7) and Isabella (4).

The devasting memory started on Thursday, March 13, 1997. I was leaving work for my Final check-up to decide if we'd induce labor (I had gestanial Diabetis)as I left work I told the girls in the office "okay I'll either be back in about an hour or we'll be having a baby soon. Jonathon's due date was set for March 14. My husband Stephen always met me for the appt's. We were called in to the examining room and my Dr. got the heart monitor to check the heat- beat (which is normal). when he sets the monitor on my stomach, he moves it to another spot (which he never did before, he always could hear the heartbeat where ever he laid the monitor)when he moved the monitor I could see the panic in his eyes, I just started crying and he asked "Gina, when was the last time you felt the baby move?" I couldn't think; I was just crying and my husband wasn't sure what to think. The Dr. told the nurse to call the office across the hall. We were on on way to use the ultrasound machine. We get into the other office he sets it up and we don't see any movement from the baby at all (we didn't know we were having a boy we never wanted to know the sex)at this time my husband calls his work to let them know he wouldn't be in. I'm moved to another office in radiology with more detailed monitor and again nothing, no heartbeat, no movement. I'm about to lose my mind. I'm now wheeled back to my Doctor's personal office where he begins to tell my husband and me that the baby is dead (my husband calls my parents and before I know it they are in the office with us.) My doctor is telling me that they have already called the hospital and I am to go to the labor and delivery at anytime to deliver the baby. I look across the desk at my Dr. and said "You have to be out of your complete mind, you actually want me to deliver this baby and not be able to take it home? NO, I can't do it." He said "Gina you have to it's the only way with the state of mind you are in we can't put you under because it would be too dangerous for you."

So he gives us the rest of the information we need, and then says, "I know that when you go home to get your stuff together it will be hard seeing the baby nursery all ready." I said "No, it won't I don't have anything at home yet." He said, "what?" I said, "I don't have nothing at home yet." My husband said, "yea, she didn't want anything until after she had the baby."

Dr. Cook then says, "did you know something was wrong?" I said "well, no but one night I stayed up to watch Oprah's Book Club and the book they talked about was Solomon's Song by Toni Morrison, and in the story was part about a women losing her baby at birth (stillborn) and how she dealt with with it. I sat there after listening to that and thought to myself that will probably happen to me" So that is why I didn't want anything set up in the baby room. I guess that thought stuck in the back of my head. So anyhow I went on with the delivery (Jonathon was delivered on his due date 3/14/97) and had a beautiful baby boy, my family was there, and my most memorable moment was after the delivery they brought Jonathon back in after cleaning him up, my mom holding and singing to him in the rocking chair (he was the first grandson and great grandson).

Anyway, I could type here all day long telling about the visual and the funeral. But i need to tend to my other two, it's snack time.

Thank you for listening or rather for letting me vent.

Gina


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