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Stories of Lost Children

They Didn't Listen to Me
by T.P., Maitland, NSW, Australia

This is the story of our Sophie Gabrielle.
Born into heaven November 4th 2005 at 35 weeks.

After having three children we felt complete, but the news that number four was on the way was quite a surprise.

This pregnancy was always different to the other three; I just didn't feel right. I had all the tests and ultrasounds and they always came back normal even though I kept telling anyone that would listen that she wasn't moving much and rarely kicked. At 30 weeks I started to get very big, and was told that we were having a big baby, then at 32 weeks another checkup and again they said all is well, even though I still felt uneasy and was desperate to have this baby, I was enormous. At 34 weeks 2 days, the day before my baby shower was scheduled, my water broke, I was so relieved and couldn't wait to have our baby girl, I was enormous, even walking was an effort. This baby had to come out. Upon arrival the doctors measured me told us I was 40 Weeks; of course we knew that was untrue. The heart trace on the monitor was not fluctuating, even though she was doing somersaults; "the machine must be broken," they said. So they tried ultrasound and at first couldn't get that to work either and after some fiddling, said "yes there's the heartbeat, stomach etc etc." They also noted that there was a lot of fluid around her; they then went on to tell me that my water could not have broken. But after three pregnancies, I knew what my body was doing. After an exam they said yes your water has broken, but this is not good, there is so much fluid around the baby.

We ended up having an emergency C-Section and after she was born, there was no "its a girl", no excitement; in fact no one said anything.

A doctors faced appeared and I was told there was no sign of life and that she had multiple visible abnormalities. You can't imagine what was going through my mind, my husband beside me had literally fallen apart. The doctor asked if I wanted to hold her and of course I did, to me she was perfect. All I noticed was how tiny she was and that she only had four toes on one foot. But as our minds cleared her problems became clearer. Our sweet angel was born with short limbed dwarfism. Tiny little arms and legs with pudgy little hands and feet, almost like a kittens. And possible internal abnormalities, which we are at present awaiting the post-mortem results for. She was only 3 pounds 3 ounces and 30cm long. So much for that big baby they said we were having.

My main reason for writing our story is to make mums-to-be aware that ultrasounds and all that testing really cannot be 100% trusted. I had 3 ultrasounds plus a 3D scan and to this day the doctors say that the scans showed a normal baby with normal limb development, however this is impossible as her condition was pre-determined since birth. Our baby girl basically didn't stand a chance. I always wonder if she was suffering during those last moments and previous months. Apparently I had a fluid disorder where she had stopped swallowing the amniotic fluid, probably because her kidneys had failed, that was why I was like an elephant. But WHY WHY WHY.. didn't anyone know. WHY WHY didn't they listen to me, I knew something wasn't right.

Sophie's funeral was held in our home. We dressed her and held her and said goodbye with family and friends. Her ashes now sit with us in her special corner of our lounge room, alway surrounded by love. The hardest part of our loss had been the trauma our other three children have experienced, especially our eldest ten year old daughter. Her heartache at the loss of her sister cut us to the very core. She should never have had to endure such grief; neither should we.

Listen to your instincts and if your doctor doesn't listen to you, go and see another. You don't get a second chance....


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