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Stories of Lost Children

Baby Braxden's Life
by Aliecia Nichols, Oshkosh, WI, U.S.A.

Braxden was brought into my life on February 24, 2005 being a healthy baby. I had Braxden for 25 days. He was an active little boy and the cutest. Braxden's baby shower was on the same day that him and mommy got out of the hospital. Being a new mother I was so happy! Being a new mother also means that you are new to things and you are not expected to know everything right away about being a new mother. Well, when me and my son got out of the hospital, I noticed he still had the clamp on his belly button to stop the umbilical cord from bleeding. Being a new mother, I thought that was supposed to be on....in the long run I found out it wasn't supposed to be there.

Me and Braxden lived with my mother at the time, so his pediatrician was not far from us. His father was denying him so I left that where it was! I was pretty much a single mother. After the clamp and cord fell off his belly button was constantly bleeding and pussing. His pediatrician put some stuff on it so it would dry up. That didn't work obviously! Braxden ended up having to go into the Emergency Room. I noticed he was turning yellow and wasn't eating so I knew something was wrong. Well the doctor said he was fine and just sent us home. I knew he wasn't fine. I knew he was a very sick baby but on the other hand I thought maybe I was just being concerned and worried. Well yes I was.

A couple hours later I rushed him into the ER again because he stopped breathing. The first time we were in the ER the doctor must have took his temperature but he was a "kook"; I didn't trust him at all! It turns out that he had a very very bad illness! He got transformed to Children's Hospital of Milwaukee and we were there for a week. I took care of my son for the first 25 days I had him and the doctors took care of him after that. Well there was no way of letting Braxden make it. After a week of him being there, the doctors told me that they didn't think Braxden would make it; and they were right!

I had a decision to make - to pull out the breathing tubes or try and let him live. I couldn't let my son suffer any longer. I told his nurse to let him rest. I couldn't stand there and watch my son suffer.

Being a mother was the best thing I could ever ask for! I realized that being a mother is something that should be earned and I earned that chance to me a mom. The worst part of everything was that the ER I took my son to had a temporary doctor working there. He was hired through a temp agency! I could have kicked myself in the ass. It wasn't my fault. People tell me now God took him for a reason. My come back is God didn't take my son; some unexperienced doctor took my son and its payback to take all I can from that doctor!!!

I'm fighting for my son now and Braxden is up in heaven watching over his mom! I thank God sooo much for giving me the best child I could ever have! Braxden is my baby boy and always will be. It's nice to know that I have a guardian angel looking out for me. As hard as it still is for me to face the fact that my son is gone. I know I'll have more and I'll always love my son, no matter what!!!!!


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