Stories of Lost Children
Joshua Brian Laning
by Karen Laning, Bordentown, NJ, U.S.A.
My beautiful son Josh was born 1/13/85 and passed away 6/18/05. He was only 20. He and his friend Anthony made a terrible decision. They both died that day of an "accidental drug overdose". I would have been willing to bet my life that my son did not do drugs, he "only drank". I am well aware that alcohol is a drug, they say that pot is the "gateway" drug, no its not.....beer is. I wish I would have taken serious the first time he came home drunk. I wish alot of things. Its only been 2 months, and the "what ifs" are killing me. I miss his face, I miss his smell. I miss the "Yo Mom, ya got a $20.00 til Friday", knowing I would never see that $20.00 again. I grieve alone so I can "act" strong for my daughter, but she can see right thru me as I can see thru her acting also. I was sitting on my back step crying, asking Josh to watch over Amanda(his sister)and to give me a sign that he is OK. I wipe my tears and looked down at a clover patch and there appeared my very first 4 leaf clover. I know in my heart, he showed it to me. I now pray everyday that Josh will give Amanda her very own sign that he is OK. Josh was a loyal friend, brother and son, he loved life and I know he did not want to die. Sometimes I just want to shake him and say "What were you thinking?" But I already know the answer...........they weren't. I just wanted someone to listen to me, that my son is/was someone very special. Thank you and God bless
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