Stories of Lost Children
My Beloved Son Adam Craig
by Maxine Heller, Sunrise, FL, U.S.A.
My most handsome son Adam passed away 17 months ago today. He was just 28 years old and was planning to get married. He couldn't wait to have a child. It would have been a new chapter in his life and mine. Instead I vist my beautiful son at a cemetary. He was in a massive car accident 7 years ago, the Jaws of Life had to get him out of the wreck. He had pins holding his hip, bladder pelvis holding him together. He under went hip surgery and got enormous needles injected in his back and spine to alleviate the horrible pain he was in. The Doctors told him he had the body of a 60 year old man, yet he was only 28. He would cry to me and his father that he couldn't take the pain anymore. He had a great personality. Through all his pain, it amazes me that EVERY picture taken of him he always had the most beautiful smile. With a beautiful dimple. He tried golf, roller bladed, played pool etc. He did all this with his younger brother who is 15 years old. Jason was the love of Adams life, not only his brother, but his BEST friend. He did all these activities through his severe pain. He also had arthritis from head to toe. He was on every pain medication you could possibly imagine. Oxycontin, morphine pathches, vicodin, you name it. Nothing at ALL helped this poor guy. One day sitting at his computer, an hour or so after speaking to my mother (his Grandmother) his roomate came home and saw Adams bedroom door open, which it never was. He called to Adam several time, but no answer. He walked in his room and there he was, dead, sitting in his chair. The police came to my house and broke the news to me. He dies from a combination of different pain killers that didn't interact correctly. Can you imagine that. My Son was gone. The shock still is with me. Never goes away. I am physically, mentally and emotionaly drained. My mind is so consumed with thoughts of my Adam. His first word, his first tooth that fell out, riding his first bike, first day at kindergarten and so on. Added to those
thoughts are his death and seeing my son in his casket. It NEVER, NEVER goes away. That image. What I would give to see him just one more time and tell him I now understand all the pain you were in. I never realized how bad it really was. I am so sorry Adam. To all you parents who have lost a child, my heart goes out to you and I certainly know your pain, anger and all the saddness you all feel. It is just not fair. No matter how hold a child is the pain is so intense. Whether an infand, toddler, teenager or young adult, they were our children and now we don't have them with us any more. Nobdy can tell you they know how you feel unless they to have had a child DIE. Just the word is hard enough to bare. I love my sweet Adam and I will NEVER, EVER feel any joy in my life again. This empty void will remain with me for the rest of my life, like so many other parents. Rest in Peace, my beautiful boy. Until we meet again,I will love you forever and a day. Love,
MOM
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