Stories of Lost Children
Breanna
by Kimberly Little, Gainesboro, TN, U.S.A.
The day I found out I was pregnant with my third child was a day of mixed emotions. In one sense of I was happy and in another I was thinking how can we be having another child. Unlike my previous two pregnancies I stayed very sick. I didn't have many comfortable days from the very beginning, but the day I found out the gender of the baby and we knew it was a girl I was so elated. You see we had two boys and had always wanted a girl also. So right then I started buying little pink clothes and hair bows. I called my mother and she immediately went shopping for little dresses. We had two wonderful boys and now we would have a little girl and our family would be complete. Almost as instantly as we recieved our good news we also got news that there was some sort of problem but that it was nothing to worry about and possibly our baby would need surgery after birth. It scared us but we knew everything would be o.k. I started trying to think of the perfect name. I didn't want anyone to have a name like hers, after all she was so special. My mothers name is Barbara Ann and I wanted something with a B and also to have Ann in it. I was with a friend one day and the name Breanna hit me. I had never heard that name before and I thought it was just beautiful, it would start with a B and have Ann in it also. So that was it, our baby girl would have the name Breanna Leigh. Everything was going good, even though I stayed so sick, then one day at a routine OB appointment I was told they must do emergency ceserean section because the baby was in distress. She said not to scare us but it didn't look too promising. Still I couldn't imagine anything bad happening. I was taken to surgery, my husband and my oldest son with me, then Breanna Leigh Little was born. She was so beautiful, but then rushed her away from me. I lay in that room wondering what could be going on, and then they came for me and told me they were taking me to the NICU where she was. There she was, she was so tiny with drainage tubes and oxygen, but she was still so beautiful. I got to hold her and then they came to us and told us she was not going to make it. She only had hours to live. They asked for permission to remove her from all the life support, there was no hope for her. We knew she was leaving us so we didnt want her last moments to be with tubes. We said o.k. and all tubes and oxygen was removed. She was placed in a tiny blanket and layed in her daddy's arms. And there just four hours after our tiny miracle arrived, she left us. That day seems like a dream, like everything was in a haze, but I swear while her father and I were in my hospital room, just at dusk, we saw a tiny white light go up past my window towards the sky, and in our hearts we know it was breanna letting us know she was truly gone, but that she would be o.k.
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