Stories of Lost Children
My Hannah
by T., Freeland, MI, U.S.A.
We had just had our third child 6 months before we found out Hannah had Acute Lymphoblastic Luekemia. I don't know how I made it home from the doctor's office that day. It was a blur for awhile, but she did well on her chemo treatments and quickly went into remission. She did so well for 15 months. I honestly thought we were out of the woods. Then, in March on a regular checkup, her bloodwork showed a relapse. It was horrible news but I knew we'd get through it again. But 2 weeks later, Hannah was feeling very ill and she started passing out every couple minutes. We rushed to the hospital and they put her in pediatric intensive care. I still thought she would be fine. She had gotten an infection because of her low immune system. Finally they came in and said they stablized her and we could go see her. My husband and I went in, kissed her, and I told her we loved her and would never leave her and I said "I love you to the moon and back" ( We always said that to each other). All of a sudden, her heart started dropping. They made us stand out in the hallway while they worked on her. They tried to jumpstart her heart so many times and they were taking turns doing CPR on my precious baby girl, but I knew then she was gone. I felt it in my heart. I ran to her and held her when she passed. They let me rock her for 3 hours and our family all came and said goodbye. She was a beautiful 7 year old that loved to dance and play hockey. It makes me so mad to think of all that was taken away from me. I know its selfish, but I just don't care. What could I have done that was so bad to take my baby girl away from me? I still have so much anger and confusion right now. It's only been 4 months, but it feels like forever to me. I just pray for the strength to go on each day. I wish I would wake up and see it was all just a bad dream.
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