Stories of Lost Children
Maggie May - Her Story
by Jamie Dawson, Watauga, TX, U.S.A.
October 24, 2002
The Day Maggie Died The clock read 12:10 A.M., Maggie gave up. It was a valient fight. My water broke halfway through my pregnancy, foreshadowing impending doom. This event would prove to be the end of two lives, mine and hers. Doctors said there was no chance for survival; it was too early, but Maggie fiercely disagreed with that diagnoses. It took several heartbreaking doses of IV medication to begin contractions. Hours and hours went by. My little fighter hung in there like a tiny soldier at war. Finally, Maggie May, fragile and breathtakingly beautiful, made her entrance into this world despite both of our protests. She took a breath and raised her frail, emaciated arm as if to wave goodbye. There is litlle doubt that my Maggie wanted to live and cling to the inside of my body where she was warm and nourished. Neither is there any doubt that I failed her as her mother, her protector. In the week before her birth, my back ached with the pain similar to that of an inflicted wound. The Doctor said: "Go home, you're fine" and in silence I retreated. Soon an odd tingling began low in my pelvis. "You're a nervous mom" the Doctor said "Try to enjoy your pregnancy, relax." I knew better, but like a coward, I again said "OK" and headed home. I now know in my heart that Maggie was in distress as if she were screaming out "Mommy, please help me!" In the worst act of betrayel imaginable, I was unable to help this wonderful creature, full of innocence and beauty. As a penalty of my actions or lack of, I wonder through each day waiting to die and travel to Heaven for the great reunion. Guilt? I face it every day. It forces me to painfully realize that there will be times in my life , though none as excurtiatingly painful as the loss of my Maggie May, that my best of intentions and all the love in the world is just flat not good enough. Maggie will always be the love of my life, and without her here, life is not life anymore. Thanks for listening, Jamie Cyrano De Bergerac Act V Cyrano I Know that it will be today,
My own dearly beloved-and my heart.
Still so hungry with love that I have not told
and I die without telling you
No more shall my eyes drink the sight of you
like wine, never more, with a look
that is a kiss
Follow the sweet grace of you...and my heart
cries out.... I love you Maggie. Sleep tight in the arms of Jesus until one day i can hold you again. Mommy
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