Stories of Lost Children
Isabelle
by Jennifer, Baltimore, MD, U.S.A.
In October of 2003, I found that I was pregnant, which at first scared me because I had a boyfriend of five years, but still I knew I would be a single parent. Not once did I want to give up my baby and soon began to get very excited about being a mother. My pregnancy was going very well, not much sickness and my only true complaint was I had gotten a cold and had it for about 2 months. Then the doctor sent me for normal blood work and a triple screen. The triple screen had come back extremely abnormal so I was then sent to see a high risk pregnancy doctor. While I was getting my sonogram with the doctor she noticed that my amniotic fluid level was decreased and that they couldn't see the baby well enough to rule anything out. I was then sent a week later to another specialist who was going to do an amniocentesis. Well when they tried and they couldn't find an easy enough fluid sack to get to and wanted me to rest and drink fluids and to come back in a week to try it again. A week later I went back and the doctor had told me they saw no fluid and just felt that the baby would not grow and thrive because without fluid she would not be able to develop lungs. They then suggested I terminate the pregnancy but only had another week to decide because I was 23 weeks. I agreed, not wanting my baby to suffer, and on Friday March 19, 2004 had gone to my regular OBGYN to get checked out and to possibly take my chances and continue carrying the baby. At the doctor's appt. they could not find the heartbeat. I was then sent to the hospital on March 22, 2004 and they confirmed there was no heartbeat. My labor was induced and I found out that I had a baby girl named Isabelle Marie at 9:39pm. We held her, and had her baptized. The hardest part was leaving the hospital without my baby, whom I will love for the rest of my life. I kept all of her stuff, her pictures her baptism dress and blanket. There isn't a minute that goes by that I don't think about her and how much I love her. I know she would have been a wonderful person and she will always be apart of me.
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