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Stories of Lost Children

My Sweet Anna Marie
by Anne, Dayton, OH, U.S.A.

My husband and I had been trying to conceive for almost 2 years. When I finally found I was pregnant, I was elated. Things were going great and then we went for our 20 week ultrasound. The doctor said it looked like there was fluid around the baby's stomach. She sent us to a specialist; we were hopeful that everything was still OK. We went to the specialist the very next day and after an amniocentesis and 3 more ultrasounds, we found out our baby had Turner's Syndrome. She had an extremely large cystic hygroma and fetal hydrops. When the Doctor said that her illness was "not compatible with life", I felt like I was in a dream. It couldn't be happening to me. Everything was fine with my baby; I must be dreaming. I wasn't.

A week later I was admitted to the hospital and induced into labor. My body did not want to let go of my precious little girl. I was in labor 35 hours and drugged most of it. I don't remember much, I do remember that my baby didn't come out in one piece. They rushed me in to do a D&C, but the rest of her came out before they did it.

It's been 3 1/2 months and I still feel numb. I can't sleep, I can't function and every day I just want to lay in my bed and cry. My friends and family don't understand; they just think I should be "over it". While I feel as if I am dying inside. Anna will never be forgotten.

I really need to talk to people, people who understand. Please e-mail me at a_grau_2000@yahoo.com.


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