Stories of Lost Children
My Sweet Sweet Sarah
by Angie, Martinsville, IN, U.S.A.
My husband and I have a healthy 2 year old son Zachary. We decided we wanted another child. I desperately wanted a sweet baby girl. Everything was fine I was 20 weeks when we went to our first ultrasound. Three days before Thanksgiving we would be able to share the sex with the family. We were both so excited. You never expect that anything bad can happen to you then it just slams you in the face. My sweet baby girl had ancephaly. Her skull & brain did not completely form we were told it was 100% fatal and there was nothing we could do. Two weeks later we went to have labor induced. The doctor said it was the best thing to do. Best for who? I'm supposed to be pregnant, but yesturday we buried our 9.8 oz. baby girl. Did I want her too much? If we would have delivered full term I would still feel her moving inside me; maybe we could of heard her cry, or saw the color of her eyes. Would she have looked like her brother? He would have been such a wonderful big brother. He's so little he didn't even understand there was a baby. He just knows his mommy and daddy are very sad. Everyone says you're being so strong. I have to be even though I just want to curl up and cry. I can't, I have Zach. I know that we are blessed to have such a happy little boy, but how cheated I feel to be given the little girl I wanted so badly just to have her taken away. Please, I need to talk to someone who has been through this. Only my husband understands what this is like, but in a different sort of way. I need to talk to another mother. Petfreed@hotmail.com
|
