Bereavement Sharing Rooms
Lost Child Lost Grandchild Lost Child Sibling Other Loss Send us your Stories


Stories of Lost Children

Letter to Jarrad
by Tom and Rhonda Sturm, Taylor Mill, KY, U.S.A.

We lost our only child, Jarrad, after only 11 days. This is the letter that my husband wrote to him and that his sister read at Jarrad's funeral. Writing this was very cathartic.

Rhonda

To Our Son, Jarrad Thomas,

Your mother and I want you to know that we love you more than life itself and that we will miss you more than even I thought was possible. I wasn't ready for the power you have over me. How is it possible for such a small, fragile boy, who I only knew for eleven days, to have totally and irrevocably stolen my heart? When the doctors said you had heart problems, I decided to stay distant when you were born so as not to get close in case you didn't survive. That plan lasted about fifteen seconds and was shattered when you wrapped your tiny hand around my little finger. At that moment, I was yours. You are and always will be my son, and I will always be your father. That is a gift no one can take from us.

I have many regrets in my life but having gotten to know you is not one of them. I regret that I will not get the chance to teach you to read or talk or walk, or help you with your math homework. I regret that your mother and I will not have the chance to change your diapers or dress you or tickle your feet and hands or give you a bath. We wish we could have heard you cry and watch you have a temper tantrum. I wonder if you would like the same foods as your mother and I, or if you would have had my sense of humor. There are so many stories that I wanted to read and experience with you, and I wanted to take you to the movies, the park, and the zoo. I wanted to see your little eyes fill with wonder as you experienced and explored the world with your mother and I. I really wanted you to search through our stuff and discover who we are through our possessions. I loved going through my father’s things and imagining his life, and I just wanted to give you the same thrill. Oh, the plans we had for you little one, but you had other plans. Your mother and I honor and respect your decision to leave. We just don't want to see you in any more pain, and now you won't have to suffer through the many tests and surgeries that the doctors would have had to perform. You are the bravest little man I have ever had the privilege to know.

You really amazed me little man. I see our entire family in your little body. You have your mother's nose and my ears. You even have the Sturm Chin. You have my father's arms and legs and your mother's father's hands and feet. I see all of the nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters in your form. Your mother says you look just like me, but with more hair, and every time she looks at me, she will think of you, my son. You are what we have planned and worked for our entire lives. You are perfect on the outside, but you just had more love than your little heart could hold. Some people never get to see their babies, but we had you for eleven wonderful days. We got to know your personality, your good days and bad. You were patient and tolerant as the doctors and nurses poked and prodded you, but when you had had enough, you would let them know. I believe that you changed their lives as well as ours. I know that you would have been a pleasure to take care of.

The universe has plans for us all, and to grow as spiritual beings, we must experience life and learn from our experiences. For eleven days you fought for life. You endured pain and illness that would have brought adults to their knees. You chose to come to us and be a part of our lives for this short time to build positive Karma not only for yourself but also for our entire family, and for that we are all eternally grateful. We only wish that you hadn't had to bear all of that responsibility on your tiny shoulders alone. You have made an indelible mark on everyone you came in contact with. I hope that all of my family and friends love and cherish their children more now because of you. I know that life is this fragile thing that is here for only an instant. Our plans don’t matter. Our feelings are secondary to yours. What matters is that your pain is gone. You may now start over again and in your next life be healthy and strong. We want you to know that if you were to choose us again as your parents we would be eternally honored.

If I could grab the hands of time and force them to move in reverse so as to stop the pain we are feeling with your passing, I wouldn't do it. If I were to change these events just to ease my own pain, we would have never met the little boy that so changed the way I see the world. Your mother and I will forever feel the handprint that you have left on our hearts and will never take another moment for granted as long as we live. The months that your mother was pregnant with you were the best months we have had in our lives, except for the few days we were able to look at your face and all your dark hair and play with your hands and feet, and the time we were finally able to hold you. Jarrad, You, in your brief time upon this Earth, have taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. I am a stronger and better person for having known you.

Good Bye for now my son, your mother and I know that we will be together again someday, but for now we will know you in our dreams.

We will love you forever,

Mommy and Daddy


More Stories about:

Lost Child Lost Grandchild Lost Child Sibling Other Loss Send us your Stories

About BabySteps | Bereavement Sharing Rooms
Remembrance Rooms | How You can Help | Contact Us

Professionalshare Room Kidshare Room Adultshare Room