Stories of Lost Children
On The Wings of a Dove
by Beverly Senzee, Phoenix, AZ, U.S.A.
I knew I was pregnant the moment after conception, and nothing was going to stop me from having this baby. I was 25 years old, and had a very kind boyfriend. We didn't have alot of money but were constantly going to yard sales and buying "things" for the baby. We had accumalated quite a lot of stuff and of course all of the necessities like crib, changing table and clothes (we were sure it was going to be a girl!) On September 19th I went for my scheduled ultrasound. There they must have found something, because I was given another appointment with a Perinatal Specialist so I went there. The doctor there gave me another ultrasound, but with a much more hi-tech machine, a fetal echo-cardiogram machine, I believe. And from there he told us to have a seat in a small waiting room (of course we couldn't sit). We were in there what felt like an eternity, until finally he came in, and called us into his private office. What he told us, crushed us. She had a rare heart defect; absent pulmonary valve (the valve that separates the oxygenated blood from the deoxygenated blood was missing), and that as a result of this she would be needing surgery immediately after she was born. He said it was a rare malformation and that it was not my fault; but there would be about a 50/50 chance for her survival. We were taken aback; my boyfriend looked so concerned. I asked what we could do, and he said to pray; and so we did.
We had Sarah Gwynne four 1/2 months later. She only lived 7 hours. She was beautiful and robust, perfect in every way. My family was all there: my mother, my sister, her friend, my boyfriend, my aunt, even my busy brother managed to show up for a brief visit. We all got to hold her, and talk to her. She squeezed Daddy's pinky, and when I put my finger in her mouth, she gently bit down. Knowing she was to be taken from us by the Almighty, soon, I asked everyone to leave the room for just a moment so I could, I don't know, just have that "Mothering" moment alone with my baby. And when they obliged & left, I took Sarah Gwynne into the bathroom and held her up to the mirror and said look & see how beautiful you are. But suddenly I noticed a lightness to her body as if her spirit was trying to leave. Then something told me to carry her over to the only window in the room and open the blinds, so I did. Then I saw a relaxed look of peace & joy come over my newborn's face and I said "You're free now Sarah, ON THE WINGS OF A DOVE!"
|
