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Stories of Lost Children

Kalen Noelle
by Kelly D Vannoy, , NC, U.S.A.

Hi,

My name is Kelly Vannoy and this is about my daughter Kalen Noelle.

After 15 years of marriage, my husband and I were expecting our first child. A baby girl. We were totally shocked to hear that after all these years, we were finally going to become parents. After the shock wore off, we couldn't have been more elated. It was like a dream come true for us.

She was to be born on June 16, 2002. What a perfect day that would be,because it was also going to be Father's Day.

Little did we know, that our dream would take a different road.

Kalen was born on February 4, 2002 at 2:32 pm. She was 4 months premature. I was only 21 weeks pregnant at the time, and I knew, that it would be impossible for her to make it. But, you just pray that the doctors are wrong and your baby will be the one that will pull through no matter what. She was the most beautiful little girl I had ever
seen. She was very small. She only weighed 12.9 ounces, and was almost 11 inches long. She had blonde hair, and blonde eyelashes. And, looked so much like her dad. Kalen was with us for 2 hours. And, those were the most precious 2 hours that we had ever had in a lifetime. That moment has changed me forever. I will never be the same.

I think of her often. And, wonder if I will ever be normal again. I think in time, I will become more at ease with it, but, as far as normal, what is that? I cry everyday, and wished so many times I could turn back the hands of time. I miss my daughter........

I still can't believe something like this has happened to us. I know that God has a special plan for each of us, and I know he is taking great care of Kalen, but, my pain sometimes seems more then I can bare.

I'm a much different person now. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but, I find it hard to be around my friends who are pregnant, or already have children. I feel sad, anger, and most of all, I feel empty inside.

I have been receiving some counseling and I hope, that will be a great comfort to me. That is how I found about your website. You are such a blessing to me. To offer something like this to mother's who are in deep pain. It is a very personal and private feeling, and only those who have been there can know really how I feel.

Again, thank you for allowing me to share my story.

Kelly D Vannoy


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