Stories of Lost Children
MY TWIN BOYS
by Maria Adams, North Hills, CA, U.S.A.
Dear Isaiah and Esequiel, When I felt those first few flutters in my stomach that I was not expecting, My heart felt like it had skipped a beat. A second later I felt another flutter, this time I smiled and felt my eyes overwhelming with tears. Your first kicks. Oh how I wish your father was hear now to feel this. I can not explain what great joy those first kicks had brought me. From that moment on, as I felt you both kicking all the time. Keeping me up all the time as I tried to sleep. I moved from one side to another and it was as if I was witnessing a boxing match. I remember cuddling with your dad as both of you began your daily ritual of kicking and how you kicked him for the first time. While your father was at work, my days were filled with many new adventures as I began a new life with my boys. I would sit all day and plan our new lives together, what we would do for your first birthday, what outfits I would buy you both, what joy it was going to be to hear those words said to me when you would first call me mom. I thought of what your first day in Kindergarten would be like. I hope it was not like the experience that I gave your Tita, my mom. Where I was so excited to be in school, while she looked at me and cried as I told her to leave, because I was going to be ok. Oh what a wonderful life I had planned for us. How wonderful my life was going to be to be a mother to my first born; MY TWINS. I remember hearing those words from the Dr. on my first visit. Looks like we have TWINS here Mrs. Adams. I just smiled as he looked then I said TWINS even after he printed the ultrasound showing you both. I left the office with those words on my lips "TWINS". I called your dad at work. I was so excited I wanted to stop at a pay phone and tell him. Wow 6 months are here and boy am I growing. As I grow with excitement and anticipation of seeing my boys cry for the first time and being able to hold you and never letting you out of my site. Oh how proud I am of being able to be your mom. That day came when something went wrong, and we went to the hospital. I thought nothing, just another visit, Like so many of the times this month we had been in the hospital. We got there, had an ultra sound and the whole time you kicked as if saying Mom, we are OK. Please don't worry.
I thank god for, letting me see your faces. Those feet, those hands, that hair, that nose, all perfectly in it's place. Oh how you both look so much like your father. As I looked I kept saying wow, look at that hair. Brown hair. All in its place. I kept thinking wow, these are our creations. These are my two little boxers. Your tiny little bodies snuggled next to mine brought me such great joy. As the days pass I watch your father sleep and look at him in amazement of how much you both look like him. I will never forget you both. I miss you so much. I would do anything to feel your kicks again that made me feel so alive, that make me smile all day long. When you see my TITA please let her know I miss her and Love her dearly and how I am so glad you both are with her. Oh how lucky you are to have her with you. God has a plan for everything; he took my Tita away 2 years ago, a reason I could not understand. Now I know why. She was preparing your room in the house of the LORD. She must be so exited now. With a smile across her face as she shows you of to all her friends and tells you both all of her stories of me.
I miss you both and LOVE YOU FOREVER, Love Mom
|
